The Welcome Visitor (John Humphrys and Sarah Jarvis)
The Welcome Visitor was written by John Humphrys (a journalist and broadcaster) and Dr. Sarah Jarvis (a general practitioner in England). This book is a palatable introduction to conversations surrounding quality of life, end of life care, and physician-assisted dying. The text is conversational, more an exploration than a presentation of facts or recommendations.
The chapters written by Dr. Jarvis that talk about advanced directives (the UK’s Gold Standards Framework) and end of life care are the most informative, whereas Humphrys’ chapters draw heavily from the personal experience of his wife’s, brother’s, and father’s deaths. He especially contrasts his wife’s and father’s deaths, how different they were and what it means to have a ‘good death.’ The last chapter tackles the sudden and unexpected death of Humphrys’ brother, Rob.
The Welcome Visitor provides an easy introduction to questions like:
· how has longevity complicated the matters of death and dying?
· why does medicine view death as failure, and what are the consequences of that?
· how can we prepare for death and ensure that our wishes will be honoured?
· what is the history of physician-assisted dying and how does it differ country to country?
While The Welcome Visitor is more surface-level introduction than deep dive, newcomers to the topics of death and mortality will find this book very manageable.
WHAT NOW? (actions for mortal atheists)
Consider what a ‘good death’ would be for you
This was an action from Caitlin Doughty’s book as well (write your own Ars Moriendi). Dedicate time to really thinking about how you’d like to die (I mean, if we must die). What would be very important to you, and what wouldn’t really matter? Would you like to die in a hospital or at home? Would you like to be cared for by family or professional caregivers? What are your views on hospice? Who would you want to make decisions for you if you couldn’t make them yourself? Although the vast majority of us can’t control when the end will come, having given thought to these questions in advance might help create that better ending.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worse
Do you know what the laws are regarding advanced directives or living wills in your country/state/province? Do you know if they’re legally binding? Do you have a substitute decision maker, and do they know your wishes? Have your wishes been captured in any legal document, and do you know if doctors or family members can override those wishes, and under what circumstances? I use the word “wishes” because I (two minutes ago) discovered that in my province advanced directives can only be considered “wishes” or “preferences,” and they are not legally binding. Damn. Let this be a push for you (and me) to do some research.
IN SUM:
Is this book entirely secular? Almost entirely.
If you had to describe the book in one sentence? A journalist and a general physician explore death, drawing on personal and professional experiences.
Who should read this book? Anyone looking for a relatively untroubled introduction to autonomy in death, what it means to have a ‘good death,’ and physician-assisted dying.